The Light

For unto us a child is born,
unto us, a son is given,
and the government shall be upon his shoulders.
And his name, shall be called:
Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God,
the Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

One of my childhood Christmas memories is singing this song with my sister. It’s part of the Hallelujah chorus. I don’t think we ever said, “This is my favorite Christmas song,” but we both kind of knew it was and would look at each other whenever it played or just launch into singing it while driving in the car.

This advent I have been preaching from Old Testament prophecies using the theme: “God Keeps His promises”. In Isaiah 9 before “our song” is a remarkable prophecy about Jesus bringing light:

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of darkness
a light has dawned.

Darkness. It would be difficult living in darkness, waiting, confused, lost, wanting to see a glimmer of light. If just a little light appeared, people couldn’t help but turn and look at it. “What is that?” they would say. They couldn’t ignore it. It would be a compelling force, because people WANT to see. Most people. Some people who are in the dark don’t even know it. Darkness becomes habitual. It helps to conceal what they are doing. They think they are getting away with something that they couldn’t get away with in the light.

The people of God had lost their way. They had a list of rules. They had some stories that they would tell traditionally every year, but they were still way off the path.

When I was telling this story in church, I asked, “What is the Great Light that Isaiah prophesied about?” Several shouted out; JESUS! Then Miguel added, “Jesus lights our path so we know the way to God.” Yes, Yes, Yes. We don’t have to stumble around and lose our way. Jesus is the great flashlight.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world;
Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
—John 8:12

Light. It gives us warmth. It helps plants grow. It enables us to do our work. But most importantly, the light of Jesus shows us The Way. May you glow with the Light of the One, the long awaited, promised, Prince of Peace.

Deliver Us From Evil

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” (Matthew 6:13)

These are the words Jesus used to teach the disciples how to pray. Who is this evil one?

Evil, the devil, the Prince of Darkness…I didn’t used to give it much thought. In fact, there was a long period when I assumed that “evil” was not so much a spiritual force but rather the “hell” we create here on earth with our selfishness and sinful choices.

I’ve never heard a pastor pray against evil. In a generic sense, yes, but not boldly recognizing a force that is trying to wreck havoc with the church, “prowling like a lion seeking whom it can devour” (1Peter 5:8). Yet Jesus mentioned the devil often , as did the New Testament letter writers. (Matthew 4, John 17:15, John 14:30, 1 John 5:18-19, James 4:7, 1Thess 5: 22, 2Thess 3;3 are just a few of the many references).

One of the young believers at our church, I’ll call him Paul, comes to my gate about 7:15 AM to ride with me in the van to pick up people. Paul is 15. He gave his heart to the Lord when Ian was here last month. Last week an older deaf boy met Paul at his house at 7 AM and took him out to eat breakfast. This older boy is a JW leader. He told Paul not to go to church, that the Christian Church is wrong, that Paul should come with him to the JW worship. Paul, who is generally hungry and does not have food at home, was delighted for the attention of the older popular deaf boy and the free food. Yet, after breakfast, he came to Jesus Deaf Church. The older boy says he will come get Paul next Sunday and take him to eat again.

On Saturday another older deaf boy went to Paul’s house and tried to convince him to not go to church. He said Paul could work with him. Paul would love to earn some money. The only day that the older deaf boy wanted Paul to work was Sunday morning. Paul came to church instead. Score: Jesus 2, Evil One 0
But oh my… I wonder how long Paul can resist.

Our School is Anglican (Episcopal). The diocese decided that they would renew the tradition of years past where every child and every teacher is “required” to attend church at the school on Sundays. I haven’t been going. I’m leading Jesus Deaf Church on Sunday mornings. Two weeks ago I got a letter from my principal saying that I’m under contractual obligation to attend the worship at the school church. I was “EXPECTED” to be there the next Sunday (which was the following day) Hmmm. What to do? Do I fight this battle now or do I concede this battle in hopes of winning the war for our church? I drove around that night to tell many deaf people that church is canceled for this Sunday. I made a mental note that I would need to see her superior to get permission to have church at my house for deaf, instead of attending the school church which none to the deaf kids would understand.

She told me I could discuss the matter with her boss on Wednesday. I prepared a letter for the boss. I prayerfully tried to communicate how our church began, how God started it, how God is maintaining it, how deaf people who come are not just school children, how deaf people are bored in a hearing worship service that they cannot understand. Then I prayed and fasted hoping the boss would be open to at least reading my letter.

When the boss (the “superintendent”) came on Wednesday she handed me her own letter expressing her disappointment in my not attending the school’s church, and I gave her mine. She read it right in my room, right then. She closed the letter, patted me on the back and said, "Your mission is doing a good work.” (Ahhhh...Praise the Lord for prayer answered.) She says she will write me another letter (I’m hoping it says that in lieu of my leading Jesus’ Deaf Church, I don’t have to attend the Anglican worship regularly.) I haven’t received it yet but if you’re counting I going to score that as Jesus 3, Evil One 0.
Note: I am not saying my principal or this woman are “evil" (by any means) but that the forces of the devil are working against our church.

Then there is the deaf boy from the family in San Jose. It’s fair to say they are “always” drunk. He fell in love with one of the girls who attend Girl’s Night. He gave her a promise ring and wants to marry next summer. She told him he had to stay sober. He did for a few months, but now he comes to visit her drunk and was drunk when he came to worship two weeks ago. He was drunk for their date last Saturday. She struggles because she is in love and wants to live with him (now) and marry him this summer. We've talked, and prayed and talked some more and she's staying with her mom and giving him some space, praying he will change.
Score: Jesus 4, Evil One 1.

There’s so much more. It’s like the deaf people and our church are caught in a huge elastic band. They’re pulled to church and then pulled away by some enticement. Then they come back to the Lord because the Holy Spirit convicts them or I talk to them, then they are pulled away again by something else. One of the boys said he is so tired of the pulling. He thinks staying home and not attending church will help him sort things out. I’ve visited him and others have visited him. I’ve prayed for him and with him. He’s come to school to talk but refuses to come to church. He says he’s tired of the spiritual battle. Sigh.
Score: Jesus 4, Evil One 2

It’s tough. The spiritual battle is exhausting. I know that the Holy Spirit empowers us believers and we have won the battle… the ultimate battle… but I hate fighting in the mean time. You know? It wears me down. But the Evil One will not win this battle. The Lord has been supporting me. Mom sent me a package. I have received email letters of support from people I haven't heard from in months. The Holy Spirit is strengthening my prayer life and showing me how the early church fought the same battles.

When I was younger, we didn’t talk about the Devil. The thinking was, don’t mention the forces of Evil. Doing so gives them power so just ignore them. But I don’t agree anymore. They’re there. They are prowling around like a hungry lion seeking whom they can devour. I need to pray against them. I need to pray for protection around all of our church members and courage for all to resist temptation. Can you join me?

Jailing Poor People for Begging

The jail here in Orange Walk has three cells. Each cell is about the size of a 10 x 12 horse stall. The small windows on the north side let in enough light to hedge a guess about the weather on the outside, but not enough of a breeze to cool off the cramped quarters where 8 to 10 men reside. The stench is unbearable since many of the men are arrested while drunk.

Today I was summoned to court to “interpret” for a deaf man that I know. Unfortunately I am the only person in Orange Walk who can voice what the deaf mans says. Unfortunately because I can’t hear the judge well and really am not qualified to “interpret”.

During the course of the judge’s questions we learned that he was charged with wandering the streets begging. He has no family, was abandoned when he was a child, lives alone in a house without electricity, food or water, and has no source of income. He has an outstanding bill for court costs from the last time he was picked up with cocaine in his pocket. When the judge read his conviction, the deaf man responded, “Yes, but what else can I do?” They sent him back to jail. He will remain in jail for up to three months. During that time someone from Human Services is supposed to get him in a rehab/job referral program. But he is deaf, and there are no interpreters in Orange Walk, so it’s hard to see how he will benefit from the rehab counseling.

My first reaction was this is incredibly unfair. The man is poor. He’s always been poor. He never had an education or a nurturing family. Throwing him in jail merely takes this man, an eyesore, a nuisance, someone we are embarrassed by, off the street. Mayan people believe strongly about sharing with each other and taking care of each other. It’s fundamental. How can it be against the law for a poor person to beg when they are hungry?

And then I thought, I wonder what Jesus would do if he encountered this man. There certainly were a lot of disabled beggars in Jesus’ day. I never heard of him giving them money. He gave them something more, the power to change. He said to man at the pool at Bethesda, (John 5) “Do you want to get well?” It sounds like a silly question. What poor crippled man lying by a pool begging would not want to get well?

I imagined asking the deaf man the same question: Are you ready to give up your addictions? Do you want to stop begging and work? I think he might say, “But what can I do?” He’s given up.

Maybe the man at the well, who had lain there for 38 years had given up, too. He responded to Jesus with hopelessness. “Everyone gets into the pool before me.” It’s no use. I will always be like this.

Jesus sensed his hopelessness. Jesus wanted to enable him. Did he walk over and lift him up? Did he soothe him with flattery and words of encouragement? Jesus knew the crippled man needed to make an effort. He had to pick himself up. When the man made the move to stand, Jesus healed him. Would Jesus have healed him if he continued to moan and lie on his mat? I doubt it.

Many times when I encounter the deaf man begging in town, I talk to him about Jesus. I pray with him. He says he prays and he will change. In fact most times when he sees me, staggering toward me with his hand out and almost blind drunk, he says “I pray.” Others, too, have talked to him, but he hasn’t changed.

I still wonder how to be Jesus to this man. I wonder how to help him pick up his mat and walk.

God Heard My Cry

God answers prayer. Sometimes we have to wait a long time for the answer. But God's timing is perfect.

Below is the story of the miracle we experienced last week when God answered our prayer.

Some of you will remember we have had a “rough year”. Beginning in November last year when one of the young women discovered she was pregnant. There was a huge fight among the young adults in our church mostly about who was the father since it could have been several of them and no one wanted to take responsibility, specifically to help pay with hospital costs. Some were supporting the woman and the men were supporting the one boy, who she said was the father. The church was splitting in half along “boy-girl” lines. When the men came, if they came, they came with an attitude. They would refuse to look “across the aisle”. I preached. I counseled. We had a few breakthrough moments and then it would revert back to the hatred. I really was having trouble reaching the men. Because they did not want to see or talk with the young woman, they started leaving the church. Two joined the Jehovah's Witnesses.

That's where we were on October 3, 2008. But to tell the story of this miracle faithfully, I have to go back about three years when I was reading the D.O.O.R. Costa Rica Newsletter. I was interested in it at the time because I wondered if some of our leaders might benefit from going to Costa Rica to participate in their training. (It’s a center for training deaf church leaders.) I noticed that they had pictures and biographies of about 20 deaf people from all over the south-western hemisphere. ONE name and picture stuck out for me. His name is Ian. My heart raced a little and I immediately thought maybe this man will be our leader. Maybe he will help to reach the men. I cut out the picture and put it on my wall, but waited a year until he graduated to contact him. When I emailed DOOR, they didn't reply. I didn't know how to get in touch with Ian. Over a year passed… his picture was still on the wall. I looked at it and thought, if God wants this man to come to Belize how will he even know about this ministry? Eventually I told Galen and Gloria, my mission board supervisors, because they have contacts in Trinidad where Ian lives. I asked them if they could find him in Trinidad, but that never happened. I still did not know how to reach him and put it on the back burner. This summer someone sent me an email which directed me to Facebook.com. I never have time for the many online friendship sites, but decided to try it and see if Ian was on Facebook. He was, (in fact he had just recently joined.) I sent him email. I asked him to come help us for 10 days to see how he fits with us and if the men will learn from him.

HE CAME! He came to Belize October 3 to 13. He arrived and the men who were angry and not attending church came to see what he had to say. He preached. He taught Bible at school. He had lunch with some of the men and then we had our Friday Night Girl’s Night Bible Study. We invited the young men. Ian taught and every one of the adult men and adult girls confessed and repented. They each made a public confession of wanting to follow the Lord. EVEN the very angry, sometimes aggressive "father" of the newly born baby. He confessed. He said he wanted to turn around. He said he wanted to follow Jesus. He even talked to the young mother and offered to help with baby costs and try to work on their relationship for the sake of the baby. It was a miracle.
"God is able to do far more than we could ask or imagine." (Eph 3:20.)

All of the people in our church love Ian. They use his signs (he signs some things differently) out of respect because they want to do things the way IAN does it. He knows what and why he believes but shares patiently and gently. He listens and seems to receive wisdom from the Lord. When he teaches, they WATCH. I trust him.

While he was praying alone, he thought God was telling him to come back to Belize. He thinks that God wants him in Belize to help lead the church, particularly the men. We don’t know the details of when, where he will live, what he will do for money but we are trusting God with those details. He said he will come back and stay as long as God needs him. He is starting a new job in November in Trinidad. He has commitments there. But he said he senses God calling him to Belize and does not want to "pull a Jonah".

Isn't this crazy? How can I invite someone I've only known 10 days to come and work in this ministry? How can he leave his comfortable life, church and friends for a much poorer life here in Belize?

I'm reminded of this passage in Matthew:

"When John was in prison asking, "Are you the One who is supposed to come? Or should we look for someone else?"

Jesus replied, "Go back to John and report what you have seen. The blind have received sight. Disabled people walk. Lepers are healed and Deaf people hear. Those who are dead are raised to life. And good news is preached to the poor." (Matthew 11:2-5).

I know that we fasted and prayed periodically for two years asking God to send someone. When he came he preached the Word mightily and consistently. He spoke with wisdom and patience. Some people in our group who were hardened to each other, opened their hearts and asked for forgiveness. They gave their hearts to the Lord.

Is Ian the One who is supposed to come help us? As crazy and "dangerous" and risky as this sounds:
I'm sure of it.

Praise to Him who hears our cries for help. He answers our prayer.

Growing Things

I love to grow things. I love teaching. I love pastoring. It's interesting how much all three have in common. Primarily I realize I have very little control over the outcome. I can nurture, I can provide the right environment (soil/classroom instruction, worship), but the result depends on the roots.

The first two weeks of school one of the boys (age 14) came in "gang wear" every day. His shoes were untied, he had a cap turned backwards, his shirt hung out and his pants, at least 5 sizes to large, were hanging down halfway over his butt. His clothing was an expression of his attitude. During the day he threatened to punch me several times. He refused to work...and then laughed while glancing at the other older boys hoping to get their approval of his rebellion.

God's timing is perfect. In the midst of this struggle at school, I was studying the concept of abiding in Jesus (John 15: 1-8).

"Abide" is an old fashioned word. In fact, my Bible uses "remain joined to me". Jesus invites us to be joined to him. What an amazing statement of grace that we, as imperfect as we are, can be joined to God. My sister explained that this joining is like being grafted, the weaker plant to the one with the roots, so that the weaker plant can draw nourishment and strength from the root. Jesus invites us to abide in him. When we abide in him we bear fruit, give glory to the father, and show that we are his disciples. (John 15:8)

What is the root that is sustaining my pseudo-gang member student? Approval? Popularity? Rebellion?

He and I talked a lot this week. I asked him if this behavior was making him happy? Was he becoming more popular? Was it working? What was the outcome he wanted? And I prayed for him. Angelica and I prayed for him. I talked to his mother. I hate to talk to the parents with "concerns" about their children. She shook her finger at the boy and walked away. He's deaf, she's hearing. It's hard to communicate. He does what he wants. She can't control him. Sigh...now what?

Angelica and I prayed some more. School is over at 2:45, but he stuck around. He sat at his desk, looking sad and reflective while Angelica and I cleaned up and prepared for the next day. At 4:00 we were ready to close the windows and go home. He stood up, and came to me with a hug and said, "I'm sorry." We hugged, I told him I forgive him, and told him to choose Jesus because all the other stuff is just temporary.

The next day, Thursday, he came to school in his school uniform, shirt tucked in, with a belt, hair combed (not spiked) and shoes tied. He was even smiling. It's was a huge change. I thought we would be fighting the attitude battle all year.
The following day, Friday, he was smiling again and cooperative. He even joined me after school to shop for groceries and carry my bags. (!!!). Someone asked him why he was grocery shopping with me and he just shrugged. I think it is about abiding. When we abide with Jesus we draw nourishment from the True Vine. There's no substitute. Jesus says, "Come, be joined to me." It's not just "something to do" but our source of life. This young man, through the Spirit who touched his heart, got a taste of abiding with Jesus and wanted to hang on to it. I hope he does.

May God give you grace and peace,
Nancy

Losing a Friend

My dog died yesterday. I don't know what caused her sudden death. On Wednesday I took her to the vet to be spayed. She was groggy on Wednesday evening and didn't want to eat anything. That seemed normal after having major surgery. She doesn't usually like the dried food too much even when she is feeling perky. So after school on Thursday I stopped at the store and bought her "comfort food"... a can of wet dog food: beef chunks in sauce. She gobbled it up. That evening she seemed to have more pep and was up on her feet and moving around almost like normal. The incision looked good. In the morning I gave her some more of the wet food and went to school. When I came home, she was dead. (!)

Her name is Flaquita. It means skinny little girl. We kind of "acquired her accidentally". Last February I would come home everyday to find this skinny, mangy, pinkish dog laying at my gate. She could hardly move because she was malnourished and sick with worms and mange and fleas and ticks. I thought that I would surely come home and find a dead dog at my gate each evening, but she hung in there. I wondered at what point is a dog "beyond hope". Would feeding her just prolong her inevitable death? After four or five days I decided to start feeding her. She was hesitant at first, not sure she could trust me, but she ate the food. And remarkably she grew stronger within a week. Sulmi started calling her "Skinny".

I took her to the vet where she got the rabbies, worms and mange shots. That helped a lot! It was only a few weeks before she started growing hair: white hair with black spots, like a dalmation.

Flaquita quickly learned to come to her name and our voices. She eagerly greeted us and smothered us with kisses. She never bit and faithfully barked whenever a stranger passed the gate or came into the yard.

She had some faults, though. She loved to dig. It's hot here in Belize. Today it's high of 95 degrees in the shade. Flaquita learned that digging the top layer of the dirt revealed a cooler underlayer and made a nice cool place to rest. The best place to dig was where the soil was already tilled: my garden! To her credit she actually did not dig up the plants... but tossed a lot of dirt all around on top of the plants. We bought some sand and made a sandbox for her. She found the sand was easier to dig and in a shady place. It was a great substitute for garden digging...most of the time.

I miss her soft black nose. She liked to press it against my face or arm or hand. It wiggled a little when she touched me. She liked to take walks down our street. She always stayed close and sort of pranced as she walked. Luis liked to hug her. She would come right up to him and he would grab her by the neck and hug her close and kiss her face. She just wagged her tail and licked him.

We'll miss her. I felt so sad last night. I was trying to decide to go ahead or cancel Girl's Night Bible study. I decided to go ahead with it because I didn't want to just sit at home and cry all night. But I couldn't study scripture. (?) I couldn't find comfort in scripture. I wanted to, but it didn't help. I wanted to see and hold and pet "my baby girl", and the words were too distant, too contextually different. Sigh.

This isn't particularly "hope-filled" or even the words I "should be" typing. But maybe it will make me more sensitive to the next time someone loses a loved one... that reading scripture to them just may not cut it.

I pray for the peace of God which passes all understanding,
Nancy

God is Faithful

Our God is truly an awesome God! As a first born I tend to want to be in “control”. I like to have plans and lists and all the details figured out. But the more I work in partnership with God I learn that He is in control and I can leave the details to him. God more than amply meets all my needs.

I look around my house in Belize and see a blender and chopper that the Mennonite Women of Virginia sent me. When I left the US I was wondering about what to do for a vehicle and Hector said, “Maybe someone will donate a van to your ministry. “ I laughed and said , “Yeah right!” but within 15 months God had raised the money and tapped the people and I was sitting with a brand new 15 passenger van in my driveway. I also had worried about companionship. I didn’t come with a husband or a co-worker. I still would love to have someone to share the work and minister particularly to the boys, but I don’t lack companionship. God has blessed me with Sulmi and Kristel who keep me centered on what’s important, the women who come for girl’s night, friends from home and my sisters who keep in touch several times a week regarding their lives and a book study we are doing together, the teachers I work with, and the Spanish Mennonite Church here. I definitely don’t lack companionship! God also seems to bring people into my life just when I need them like the time Galen showed up and fixed the green table just as the leg was falling off. Sandi Harris and her family invited me to San Pedro with them and listened, counseled and prayed with me when I really needed the support. Then there’s Vera and Basil DeKlerk who appeared one Sunday and unknowingly made a donation that covered the cost of a table for our fellowship to the penny, just after I bought it because we really needed it but really didn’t have the money for it. And God sends friends like Linda and (and previously Katie) who came from Lancaster, PA to help with VBS. They were a Godsend. I could never have done VBS alone. In addition they brought suitcases full of craft materials for VBS and gifts from other friends in Lancaster.

Sometimes I think God calls people to ministry and they say, "Uhhh.. is it really you, God?" Like Peter did in Matthew 14. He's in a boat in the middle of a storm. There's lots of wind and he looks up to see Jesus walking towards the boat...ON THE WATER! Impossible. So he says, "It must be a ghost." But it wasn't a ghost, it was the Lord. And the Lord said, "Be brave! It is I. Have courage." But Peter, more courageous than the others who said nothing, shouted back across the wind, "Lord is it really you? If it is you show me a sign, let me walk on water."

Have faith, friends. When the God of the universe calls you to work with him (imagine that!) in partnership (!) and says, "Come!" don't get stuck on the details or ask for signs. Just go.

God is faithful. You will be blessed and awed at how Jehovah Jirah will supply all your needs “beyond your wildest dreams”. And just think about it: is there anyone else you would rather work for?

Blessings to anyone who is thinking about mission work.
May God give you His peace,
Nancy

Godly "Coincidences"

July 20, 2008

Jessica is the hearing sister of one of our Deaf Church members. Sometimes on Sunday evenings she joins a youth group at a nearby hearing church. Last Sunday they decided to “take church” to a family they thought needed some encouragement. So eighteen of them crowded into two cars and headed about 40 minutes south. They sang and prayed and had a Bible lesson there on the uneven dirt floor, under a leaky thatch roof, in the pouring rain, while chickens and two goats mingled with them in the candle and lantern light.

Jessie noticed that one of the women was using some body language to talk to a young girl. She asked about the child and found out that she was deaf.

When Jessie came to my house this morning for our regular math tutoring session she told me about the “new” deaf girl she had met Sunday night. I wanted to meet this little girl. So Jessie and I got in the car and made the trek back down the Belize-Corozal Rd. It was still raining and the ground was more flooded than the night before. So we took our shoes off and walked through the mud to the house. Jennifer was excited to see visitors who came to see HER. She’s 11 and bright with a big smile and eyes that squint when she doesn’t understand something. She had gone to school in El Salvador when the family lived there, so she knew some sign language but was puzzled that the language we were using with her was different. I tried to get her to show me the signs she used for some common household items like:
table, chair, Mom, baby, oven, scissors, hammock, dog, cat, chicken, corn. She knew a sign for some of the words, but for most of them she put several signs together to form a gesture. We stayed and talked for a while and eventually Jennifer warmed up. Her mom and grandma talked about wanting Jennifer to join my class at St. Peter’s. It would be wonderful if they could work it out.

I’m eager to see what will happen next. Like Sulmi, Evelin, Luis and Alejandro, who came to my class knowing only a few signs, it will be fun to see Jennifer transition from trying to remember signs and filling in the blanks with gestures and drama to becoming a confident non-stop chatterbox. I look forward to seeing her light up during her first few days in the class when she sees she is surrounded by peers that she may not yet understand but nonetheless immediately feels a bond with them just because they are deaf.

It’s interesting that Jessie happened to go to youth group the night that they happened to “take church” to this family. God is working out his kingdom. He leads people to other people who will tell still other people in the hope that the “lost” will be found. Godly coincidences.